Oh, I just love Sue Sylvester so much! I've been watching Glee for the past three days, to get ready for the Season 2 Premiere next Tuesday, and she might just be my favorite character on the show. I love Kevin McHale's (Artie) voice, and Lea Michele (Rachel) is perfect, I just love her. And oooh, Jonathan Groff (Jessie St James), oh my, oh my, he's the sexiest. Well, I love Mark Salling (Puck) and Cory Monteith (Finn) too, but admit it, Jonathan is great, and I loved him in Spring Awakening (with Lea Michele too!).
So I decided to make this post all about Sue, and her fabulous quotes. Here's a bunch that I love:
Sue Sylvester: Alright everybody listen up. When you hear your name called, cross over to my side of this black shiny thing
Will Schuester: That's called a piano, Sue.
Sue Sylvester: Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid. Come on, move it! Asian, Other Asian, Aretha, and Shaft.
Sue Sylvester: I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help, but picturing birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting.
Sue Sylvester: Let me break this down for you, okay? I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go onto college? I don't know, I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they want to be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round off.
Will Schuester: I will destroy you.
Sue Sylvester: I'm about to vomit down your back.
Sue Sylvester: I’m reasonably confident you will be adding revenge to the long list of things you’re no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sister.
Sue Sylvester: I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits. That’s the smell of failure, and it’s stinking up my office.
Sue Sylvester: I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.
Sue Sylvester: [Ramps] are what I call lazy-makers. They discourage able-bodied students from getting proper exercise by using the stairs.
Sue Sylvester: While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t using them.
Sue Sylvester: I got a satellite interview. That’s lingo for an interview, via satellite.
Sue Sylvester: That was the most offensive thing I’ve seen in 20 years of teaching—and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.
Sue Sylvester: I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your house and punch you in the face.
Sue Sylvester: Heyyy buddy, did you get a new haircut? Looks awful.
Sue Sylvester: I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair.
Sue Sylvester: I will no longer be carrying photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.
Sue Sylvester: You think this is hard? I'm passing a gallstone as we speak. That's hard!
Sue Sylvester: I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.
I just love it. But it is, of course, wayy better when you watch the show! Toodles.